• Psychological Projection of Don’t Tell Her Outside the Cultural Differences between China and Foreign Countries
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Psychological Projection of “Don’t Tell Her” Outside the Cultural Differences between China and Foreign Countries
Following the 2018 short film “Baby Bao”, an animated short film about Chinese engulfing trauma, won an Oscar, and another film about the Chinese story “Don’t Tell Her” won a lot from last year. From the script to the actor, it was nominated for the award season.highest.The latest award was Okafina, who played the heroine Billy, won the 77th American Film and Television Golden Globe Comedy in 2020, the best actress award in the music category, and the film was released in China today.Stills of “Don’t Tell Her”, Bi Li (center).The film tells the story of the Bili family who immigrated to the United States since childhood and hurried back to China to attend the wedding of cousin Haohao.The wedding was an excuse for the family to see grandma. She was diagnosed with advanced cancer and had three months left.Whether to tell Grandma that the truth has become the focus of the film, the generation of the father claimed that they did not know, but Billy and her cousin who grew up abroad believed that Grandma had the right to know, and Chinese and American cultures are in conflict here.So should the differences between the two generations be interpreted only as cultural differences?The old society had a profound sense of panic, and it was easy to stress Billy ‘s uncle Haibin as the eldest son in the family, leading to why he could n’t tell grandma when he said something.The family, the society, and not telling grandma about the illness is to share the ideological pressure for her.I believe many people will be deeply moved when they see this place.So why can life exist as an individual in the West and must exist as a collective in the East?We can speculate from the logic in the words of the seaside: Orientals believe that life as an individual cannot bear the pressure of life. We must exist collectively and take advantage of the collective strengths in order to survive.Father and daughter are in a left view.Is this our current situation?In particular, does it reflect the status quo of young men and women working alone on the north, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen?No.It is the cry of the Chinese who have not eaten enough in the past thousands of years, and the deep panic imprinted in the bone marrow.The Chinese truly appreciate the freedom from food scarcity since the founding of New China, especially since the reform and opening up.No matter how open-eyed and nonsense people touted the Republic of China, they could not avoid the fact that the general public was often hungry at that time, let alone the monarch who ruled forward.Survival panic has long existed. According to Jung ‘s theory, it has already penetrated into the collective subconsciousness of the Chinese people. Therefore, after just a few decades of eating, the Chinese people continue to use the old way of thinking because of their inertia and collective subconsciousness.Only collective resistance can survive.Interestingly, the generation at the seashore has just passed the collective resistance, and under the policy of reform and opening up, it has survived overseas alone, but its thinking has stayed in the face of the pressure of famine.Let more people understand what “unconditional love” Hao Hao’s family puts on a reunion dinner before the wedding. Relatives ask how long Bili can earn one million dollars in the United States. Bili said for a long time, relatives said here with us “Minutes “.With the development of the domestic economy, it is no longer a new thing to go to the United States. Relatives clearly see that immigration to the United States has turned Billy into a person who does not take money seriously.Send it for education, even if he does not come back.Billie and grandma.The answer lies in the childhood story of Billy remembered at dinner.I just immigrated to the United States very poorly, and my parents couldn’t afford to study Billie’s piano.When the church pastor knew it, he gave Bili the key and invited her to play the piano in the church-unconditional love.This is a better life than relatives who use raising children as a stock investment, and this kind of good life must be established after a few generations of full stomachs.For the elderly, people only have food in their eyes and only start to pay attention to dignity, belonging, love, and self-realization after filling their stomachs.The poorer the place, the more likely the parents are to take child-rearing as an anti-aging investment. The more economically free parents are, the more likely they are to allow their children to grow up freely.In short, our time to eat is too short.However, just after a few decades of eating, the Chinese people began to focus on how to give their children unconditional love.Although there is fierce competition for survival in Beijing, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, it is despised that raising children as a business will be despised. The song also praises “how much the elderly don’t want their children to contribute to the home.”It is conceivable that after a few generations of stable abundance, people will gradually change from the acute stress state of thinking.Can’t face the fact that leaving her relatives would bring endless wounds. Bili complained that when Grandpa had cancer, no one told her, and then came back, Grandpa would “disappear”.Mother Zhenzhen has a word: For your study, study is important.People’s famine psychology (survival anxiety) is most commonly transferred to children’s academics, and it is most easily understood and accepted by society.Everyone outside the hospital.We look at this problem from two aspects.One is pure logic.Delayed today, this year’s study, exams, tomorrow, next year can continue, there is only one grandpa, companionship during illness and farewell after death, only once.Which is more important?The second is from a psychological perspective.From the perspective of Gestalt psychology, we have completely gone through the process of illness, death, loss, and recovery of our loved ones. When things are over, we continue to live forward.Minors are completely unaware of this process and cannot accompany and say goodbye. This is an “unfinished” event that will cause serious psychological trauma such as abandonment of the wound, which will accompany the work and life of the adult.Billie was fostered at her grandmother’s house when she was more than two years old. A six-year-old immigrant, she suffered too many abandoned wounds.At the age of 30, he is still worrying about rent. Who dares to say that Billie must not be repeating the tragedy abandoned in her childhood?Billie passed by the place where her infant and grandma had lived, and repeatedly said that she wanted to see it again. What did she want to see?My own roots and everything that disappeared: Grandpa, Changchun’s home, Beijing’s home.We traditionally have very high requirements for life. The mood is invisible, originally refers to the extremely high emotional control ability. Because it is difficult to do, everyone forcibly suppresses emotions and emotions and hides them as clever.Billy and Grandma hugged each other.In “Don’t Tell Her,” the family looked down on Billie’s poor emotional ability. In fact, Billie was the healthiest of the family.Scientifically speaking, emotions need to be groomed and vented. Billy cried and told her that she wanted to stay in China to accompany her grandmother. She concealed her grandfather’s death. Now she has to hide her grandmother’s sickness and express her emotions accurately.Uncle Haibin, his cousin Haohao pressed his emotions, and they all collapsed.Bi Li normally reveals her emotions like flowing water in a small river, which flows naturally, and her emotions collapse like flooding, pulling up trees and ruining the house.Our self-proclaimed ability to hide feelings is a great bomb that is not conducive to physical health.After the shock, the introspective grandma really can’t withstand the truth of cancer. Do you need to share it?At the banquet, her grandmother’s identity was exposed: she was once a frontline female fighter and reorganized the test of gun Lin Danyu.At the end of the film, the director told everyone: Six years after the diagnosis of cancer, grandma is still alive.With such strong vitality, the audience has their own answers.There is a projection phenomenon in psychology. What you think others need often reflects what you need.Uncle Haibin shouted that Grandma needed to help share the burden of thought. Behind him was the deep guilt he had not returned to China with his mother in 25 years-in order to relieve guilt, he forced to carry the burden of cancer for his mother.Billie split herself between the Chinese and Western cultures. She was gradually persuaded in China to help conceal her grandmother’s condition. When she returned to the United States, she felt depressed and shouted.The second generation of immigrants often trample on the sense of tears that exist in the gap between cultures. To escape from them, they need to consciously ask some questions.For example, in the dilemma breakthrough in the movie, we must ask: Does our era still need collective resistance to survive?Specific to grandma, is she able to face the truth about cancer?Do n’t tell grandma whether she needs cancer or our needs?The word “love” in the movie didn’t say it. The whole family came back to see grandma as love, love for the troubled condition, wedding to coax her happy is love, her coexistence with cancer and the love of the whole family have a lot to do.It is because of love that we say that now, after we have eaten and ate well, we should expect the natural expression of love. This is not a cultural difference between China and the United States, but a country’s growing strength.□ Cui Hong (column writer) editor of Sauna Night Net Wu Longzhen proofreading Zhai Yongjun